In A "Napping" House Where No One is Sleeping

While mom is knee deep in wallpaper backing, vinegar and hot water, and bandages all over her hands from the unfriendly but very useful wallpaper scraper Zane and Zeb become a wrecking crew accomplishing a lot on the second floor here at the Tacoma, WA demolition site. I not only swore off sugar for the month of December but also made another questionable decision to finish a job started and given up on 6 months ago during a time that requires all given energies and some artificially given energies (thank you caffeine) - the holiday season! I absolutely need pressure to get something difficult done and the holiday season was a perfect time to accomplish a job I thought impossible (I should say my husband was getting slightly sick of the bare electrical outlets and half finish job as well, creating a little more pressure, which, in my case, is always good)!

Unfortunately when mom is trying to get a job done and so focused she forgets to eat, you know who else is getting neglected (oh ya, little people need to eat more than crackers and cheese and milk in order to poop, hello constipation, sorry guys but I just had to get this done, I'll be one more minute, okay you can watch just ONE more show). The job is done now although I have to admit I felt like I was on a role and decided to try to tackle the wallpaper in the kitchen which is a different kind of wallpaper and I'm finding it to be a bigger pain to get off of the walls than the last so another job for, say the boys' birthday, which is in January so I'd better get finished.

There was one more picture that must be shared as it shows my unbelievable skill at parenting (something anybody would be proud of, well actually no, many would guard this, or not even document this but me I had to as I was surprised it could even be done).

I promise I tried to nap them, he just got sick of waiting for me to be done that he fell asleep right there on the bottom stair, after failing to go to sleep during his nap, hmmm, don't say I didn't tell ya so Zane, poor kid, someone call the authorities.

Peeing in Target!!

Oh what a day. A trip to Target to get a string or two of lights turns into a three hour adventure which involves buying an unexpected pair of jeans because rookie mom forgot a change of clothes but remembered the sandwich that no one wanted. Standing in the middle of the protein bar aisle Zane decides or maybe didn't exactly consciously decide but never the less peed all over. Now I've had this happen where I had to clean up after Bear in Petco but I didn't actually ever think of this scenerio. Hmm, one might say he isn't ready to go out of the house without a diaper but I would say mom needs to be alittle more disciplined herself to take them to the bathroom instead of running around Target for an hour without even thinking of it. I'll admit this is not my strong point as I am and have always been one to feel going to the bathroom is a burden and I wait until the last minute possible! How fun to be in the throws of potty training twins and mom.

November - Where did it go?

Recap -- What just happened? Has November began yet? Ended? Oh ya that's right it's December and the holidays are upon us and the only way I know that is because I've made a very insane decision to stop sugar....that's right, no cookies, no homemade or store bought candy, no chocolate, no suga!! What the hell am I thinking especially when as a SAHM- that is stay at home mom, of course- other SAHMs like to have these little soirees called "cookie exchanges" - which is really just a good excuse to eat sugar and have sugar leftovers for all to enjoy or in the case of myself-to whittle away on the cookies until the last crumb becomes stale and I force myself to throw the crumbs out and vow not to eat sugar for the rest of the holiday season only to pick up the bad habit at the next little SAHM soiree. Oh yes, I'll mention that the boys do me no favors by being such picky eaters as it would save me calories if they would eat a cookie, brownie, or candy here and there. I don't know if I'm lucky or quite misfortunate in that area of picky toddler eaters; yes they don't eat that much sugar but they have enough crackers to go with a large vat of cheese.

Anyway, yes back to November - it was great!! Complete with a trip to New York and then to Idaho! All the boys (oh yes all except Bear) were in a fabulous New York wedding. Upon our arrival to the wedding, Jamie (who had been at the synagogue already for nearly an hour for those ever important wedding party pictures) asked if I would walk the boys - the ring bearers-down the aisle. It was a given that they were definitely not doing it on their own. Okay, I am one for pleasing others and saying yes way before no, however, walking down the aisle of a 200 guest wedding after spending literally 5 minutes getting ready was definitely something I was not willing to do! They were so cute walking down the aisle, all three of them in their tuxedos. On the way down Zeb would not let go of an obnoxiously red bag that his dear aunt gave him and therefore it went down the aisle too and became the source of much frustration as Zane quickly decided after 1 minute into the wedding that he wanted his bag and then 3 minutes into the wedding he decided he was parched and let the entire wedding know about it. "I want some water" was heard over and over again until his mom (who hates all eyes on her) quickly took him from the front of the sanctuary out the door in the back of the sanctuary, where we stayed in the foyer the rest of the ceremony. The wedding was beautiful and I was bummed to have missed most it.

I will say the boys partied us all under the table literally and figuratively speaking- all 7 kids attending the wedding found their party underneath one of the tables complete with strobe light and glow sticks!

They finally went to bed at 3 am. Hello 10:30 am brunch, the brunch was fabulous but ouch!! What made having to get dressed up in that polyester tuxedo worth it for Zane was the fact that he did get to stick his finger in the wedding cake several times and lick the frosting, it was priceless.

Idaho for Thanksgiving was fantastic, and despite what Jamie may say my sister, Misti and I cooked a fabulous Thanksgiving dinner. After returning to Tacoma, I was very happy to be home as we were all in need of a much needed travel break. Speaking of that I am going to have a large glass of wine.

Does wine classify under the sugar category? We won't go there.

Dump Truck Drivers

I quietly wonder to myself if dump truck driver is in Zeb's future. Zane is a master at front end collisions with the dump truck, Zeb is quite the master at loading the dump truck up with random littles out of the random annoying littles toy box and dumping it in random places throughout the living room and kitchen making land mines all over the downstairs floor which are just waiting for their next victims to trip. I know Jamie has professional baseball player in the back of his mind but odds are dump truck driver!!

Halloween

This last weekend we attended a Halloween party and I'll have to say by looking at Zeb's and Zane's costumes I don't think dressing up in costume is Jamie's nor my strong suit. How generic can you get with Bob the Builder and Thomas the Train, not only is it super generic but it wasn't even done very well. Zane wouldn't wear the hard hat, which I don't blame him as that would have taken an incredible amount of balance to balance the too big hard hat on his head and Zeb, well the foam little Thomas costume that we slipped over his head in a hurry before he had time to protest, was really lame. Yes the costumes got the job done but no costume contest would have been won by us. I don't know when I become such a scrooge for Halloween (maybe it was when the nasty people answering the doors for trick or treaters told me I was too old and that I shouldn't be trick or treating any more, hmmm I was only 14) but I definitely am and in an attempt to get me in the spirit for the years to come we definitely will be toting Zane and Zeb around to knock on doors for the Halloween candy even in the rain!

Zane and the potty

We are in the throes of toilet training! Anyone want to place bets on whether or not Zeb can get through nap time dry? What more does he need, I put "his" potty right in his room. Well one is pretty much trained, okay well I guess if you count the fact that I have to bribe Zeb with candy to sit on the toilet in a public bathroom and "wait til pee comes out" maybe trained isn't the right word, but getting there. Zane has taken to making himself useful by emptying Zeb's potty, dumping it out in the toilet of course, ya it tends to get all over his hands (pee is sterile, right) and all over everything else as we are still working on our dumping skills! When people say twins must be hard to potty train they have no idea that really all I have to do is sit and watch.

Naptime with twins

I sit here and pray the ceiling is strong, the furniture is anchored and all will come out of nap time alive. What happens when some days they fall asleep without a peep and sleep like babies and other days it sounds like the room above my head is being destroyed beyond recognition but I sit/clean/read or sleep in complete denial of the battle grounds above hoping all soldiers find the 2:30 hour alive.
I love naptime!!

What's for Breakfast?

What exactly do most little people (and big people alike, for that matter) eat for the first meal of the day?
What would we do without that beloved food that luckily is so enhanced with vitamins and mineral that eating fruits and vegetables is optional?
Here's to the greatest food on earth--cereal --and all it's power food goodness!
The reason for this entry is to let everyone in on the best cereal mix, Zeb's cereal mix, if you're into mixing your cereals in the world. And, of course, for those that want to mix up their breakfast routine and add a little flavor.

The secret combination to a happy (well okay sometimes very cranky) and healthy (well okay, yes currently he can be seen with green stuff running down the front of his lip into his mouth, and yes I'll get it when I'm done posting this) two year old is first and foremost some time of Os cereal (which the current brand is completely nasty - but organic;), Puffins (which for those of you who don't know- is a puffy corn cereal), frosted mini wheats, milk and okay listen closely as this is the secret ingredient goldfish whole grain crackers. Oh, yes, and don't forget the Reese's peanut butter chips on the side, this aids in the emotional wellness of this particular two year old and I'm assuming most all healthy and balanced little people everywhere.

New Camera

It has been a while and now that I have a fancy new camera (thank you Jamie) I'm going to post more for those still following or those that may follow in the future, which I'm sure that means many many many people!!

August and my hamburger!

What is to be said about an emotional attachment with a plastic hamburger, complete with lettuce and cheese. When Zeb and the rest of the family go into a complete panic when the hamburger or any of its condiments are missing one knows there's an issue. The fact that he wouldn't even think about actually eating a real hamburger makes the attachment oh so painful for those of us trying to get him to eat something besides cheerios, milk, cheese and gold fish (the cracker). When will those love affair end, that is to be determined, until then we will keep great tabs on the -oh so tasty -plastic hamburger.

The crying, the whining, the fits, oh my, I can't take it any longer!

It is all in the title, no elaborating necessary.

A week of bliss!

I'm back in the rat race! A week in Boston without the boys or Bear or Jamie and living every minute.....pure bliss. Did I miss anyone, no, did I feel a bit guilty for not missing them, maybe for a second, was I happy to see them all, uhh yes of course. My sister and I had an unbelievable time. Breakfast in bed, no little people to tow around, the beach with a magazine and yes all I did was lay there and soak up the sun.
Meanwhile back at the round up, grandma had a great time! It was a totally confidence booster, she can handle the little people all by herself!! Thanks mom, I look forward to next year!!!

Do you show the kid his bum? *warning content may not be suitable for everyone

Why is it that all the baby books omit a huge section on "what to do whens," for example, what do you do when your child plays with his bum and says things like "what's in my bum" and "is poop in my bum" and "I want to see in my bum" and "I want to see mama's penis." Actually, I'll go off topic now and explain....he was getting a little fresh with me when I happened to have a bathing suit on and in an instant opened my top and said "mama's penis" and I said "no, mama doesn't have a penis, that's mama's boob" which he then proceeded to try to investigate but with a help from junk food I was able to distract him and divert his attention only after he says to brother "mama's boob" and then bother says in a higher octave "MAMA'S BOOB".
So, well, back to the original question that I'll just throw out there for you to ponder. The kid is playing with his bum full on and says "brother, see my bum" which he then turns to show bother his bum. Luckily he was unable to really spread his bum to show brother what he really meant him to see and brother laughs hysterically running off saying "see what's in my bum." In his determination to see what was in his bum he proceeds to ask again and again until finally I respond with a response that I thought would just leave him thinking and end the conversation. I said, "you would need a mirror to see what's in your bum." He then stops for a quick second, thinks and then says "I want to see a mirror to see what is in my bum" okay, okay, okay "see here is a mirror" and I lifted him up. Luckily, when you are two you can't quite figure out how to turn your head to look behind you while spreading your cheeks to see what is in your bum.
Anyway what exactly is a person to do when faced with these questions and why didn't I pick the right books to read?

I'll preface this by saying Jamie is who he is, doesn't try to be someone else for anyone else. And I love that about him. That said...

Edgy New Yorker to hick in 3 years. Say what? Is there a physiological change in testosterone levels when a guy drives a pick-up truck? Imagine an addiction to testosterone so much so that one would go from needing a pick-up, as one tends to when maintaining a log home set on 5 acres of forest in New Hampshire to "needing" one - a bigger one, mind you - in the city of Tacoma, WA when the lawn is manicured and the need for a pick-up goes as far as hauling around a double BOB stroller (which I will admit is quite large but fits in the back of just about anything with a few clever adjustments). Oh, well I guess the truck also hauls around two-year-old twin boys and a cockapoo. Hmm, I think we may need a one-ton truck after all.

Sorry polar bears, but my guy has to have his half-ton, fuel-inefficient, extreme carbon producing but oh-so-necessary pick-up truck.

Marshmallows for Breakfast

What defines a good mom? I really hope feeding my kids marshmallows ("just 2, mama!!") for breakfast is a good indication that I am on the right track of being a fantastic, well-suited, responsible mom after all the teeth that they have now are temporary, right??!!

Zeb poops

Well Zeb has done it, yes for the first time he has "pooped" in the potty. "Pooped" the actual meaning is to go pee. And is his first date with the "potty" (which is a word I despise therefore it will be referred to as toilet even if it really wasn't the toilet) canceled out when minutes later after a bath he pees on the floor right next to the toilet, yes literally 4 inches from the toilet. I don't know it sort of discredits any movement he made on the toilet. We are not actively training them but the time may have come to have target practice!!

okay we're back

okay we are back! I haven't been posting because I didn't know if everyone could view easily but I think all can and so I'll start posting again!! Lucky you!!!!

Trying to figure out how to make this easier

I found out the other day that it isn't all that easy to find this site so I'm checking out other options to make this blog as big as www.dooce.com and other big sites that I like. Love you all and I hope all is well. The boys are great!!

Politics

Okay totally unrelated to little people but someone has to say something!

Come on! I don't mean to talk politics here (as I am sure it makes most slightly uncomfortable) but allow me to address at least two things that stand out in my mind as TOTALLY MISSING THE POINT. The following comments were found in the letters to the editor section of Time magazine.
"...you have already alienated many women voters by crowning a man instead of a woman." Some yahoo in Maryland posted this
"As a health professional with years of experience in this area I call on McCain to undergo testing to verify his cognitive fitness for office....11% of American males 71 or older have dementia..." another yahoo this one in Arizona.
First of all to the yahoo in Maryland..."alienated" women because Hillary is out, Please, it comes down to who most people believe MAY do the better job (you will find this is no guarantee just looking shallowly into the current administration)... The fact is we will see a woman as president, it does NOT have to be Hillary and for those that have said "if Hillary can't than who can" there are MANY women out there that can and will...have a little respect.
Secondly, if the guy can run a presidential campaign without being seen swaying back and forth with only his night clothes on while screaming profanities at the crowd then let him give four years a shot (if elected). Come on, aren't we missing the point as to whether or not he is going to do what is right for our country and the people here? If ya think you need to start having candidates undergo testing to verify cognitive fitness for office then simply don't vote for him (or her)!! What are the issues, why are many people worrying about these things when what we need to be talking about is missing from these notes to the editor like how to help better educate kids, how to reduce the recidivism rates among those in our prison systems, how to bridge HUGE gaps with other countries, how to keep the Iraq war veterans off the street corners with tin cans in their hands. Start talking about the candidates in respect to the issues that are going to help build a stronger country and then maybe, just maybe, people will start to understand who is fit to govern the US a little better than an MMSE (an evaluation score of cognitive abilities).

Tent Camping

Who doesn't like sleeping on rocks in the freezing cold with two year old twin boys who sleep in cages at home to make sure the animals don't escape, I mean to give them a sense of security and warmth and who have no clue on how to sleep outside of that cage (although they caught on pretty quickly...an hour and a half...not bad). Can you think of anything more fun than waking every hour with one side of your body dead asleep, numb as can be, tingling and stiff. Let me brainstorm that one; root canal, colonoscopy, working as a preschool teacher with a massive hangover, the options are endless.

Okay now for the fantastic part, the boys loved it, although they asked to sit in the truck the morning after the nightmare ended as we packed up, so they weren't exactly super into the roughing it, although I think they will warm up to it. Back to.... it was great, we hiked, we threw rocks into the sound (a favorite past time), we played with bugs, birds, dirt, sticks, Zeb and Zane played with their babies in the tent and the dirt, we tormented Bear by letting Zane pull him around all afternoon, when really all he wanted was to hang out at camp looking for his next hot dog opportunity, we roasted marshmallows, hot dogs, and we sat by the fire that Jamie built!!!
It was fabulous!!!
We are all going to love camping after we get mats to sleep on and some really good sleeping bags!
Pictures to come as we responsibly left the camera at home and had to use our cellphones.

Monkeys and Bananas

Really!!! All I wanted to do was stimulate the mind of the monkey. I've seen it done before and it really is fascinating. You take things from your bag and hold them up in front of the monkey's face and the monkey really does respond, you can just see the wheels turning. The whole family was standing there (luckily no one else) when I started stimulating the monkey's mind with an old-maid filled popcorn bowl just purchased at the zoo cafe. Jamie informed me with a puzzled look that that was just mean to do (as if the zoo animal had a regular snack diet of popcorn). Well I was frazzled and searching in my bag for something else a little less torturous but stimulating all the while. So I pull out of my bag......a banana! Jamie now proceeded to look completely shocked and told the boys that mom was evil (well I'll agree airheaded) and told me to put it away. But the monkey saw it and was obviously very stimulated as now it was going from side to side staring at me (wouldn't take his eyes off of me or well the banana), I couldn't just put it away. What is a person to do, I felt super guilty and awful at the same time as the monkey is now trying to follow me everywhere so like any rational and good hearted person would do I took Zane (my scapegoat) around the monkey exhibit to covertly try to smuggle some of the banana to the monkey. I tried throwing it threw the chain link fence to no avail, I couldn't get close enough and now me and the monkey were frustrated and Jamie was telling me we were going to get kicked out and black balled from the zoo and Zane is saying "mama threw nana."
Jamie got me paranoid that I was going to get hauled out of the zoo in handcuffs. Thus, We all quickly started exiting the monkey exhibit and Jamie was still telling me that there was definitely cameras and that I was definitely going to get kicked out. I am persistent and stubborn however so.... to make one last attempt I threw a third of the banana on top of the fencing where it would either land and wait or fall through the fence... both resulting in the monkey getting a well deserved banana snack. Quickly walking away we saw the WRONG monkey eating the banana. At bedtime the boys were saying "mama threw the banana monkey."

Just today

I was vacuuming like a madman upstairs as Zeb and Zane were "playing" on the couch without the cushions (I being a "cool mom" took them off for the little people to stay occupied for a few minutes) I come down the stairs and what to my wondering eyes did appear but the entire costco sized jar of cashews dumped out all over the couch and two little people jumping all over them playing with their trains on the back of the couch, of course, laughing until I freaked out and yes to little understanding tried to explain that this kind of behavior is bad and that those cashews were expensive, they looked at me with blank smirks. I made them clean up the mess with me and in another fury to clean the already once just minutes before hand vacuumed couch and carpet I didn't notice Zeb had disappeared. I start to go into the kitchen to finish up the once every two weeks mandatory vacuuming and what to my wondering eyes did appear but Zeb trying to pour himself some milk or should I say the refrigerator door wide open and a full but opened 1/2 gallon of milk lying on its side spilling onto the floor with Bear lurking in the background waiting for his chance to act like a cat. All in a matter of 5 minutes!!!